I have a friendship that is fading. That’s the best way I can describe it – it’s almost as though it’s just run out of steam. It’s fairly predictable that this has happened, really. Looking back, maybe this isn’t the friendship out of those I made in D.C. that I would have guessed I’d lose first after moving, but it is perhaps the friendship I should have predicted a loss-of-proximity hiatus for. The good thing here is that I think if I moved back to D.C. tomorrow, I’d be able to pick up if not exactly where we left off, close enough to be comfortable; the bad thing is, I’m not moving back, and there’s a little part of me that resents the idea that I become uninteresting to him when I’m not within local calling range. Then again, there’s a part of me that feels that way about him sometimes.
Strangely, it’s the relationship that I predicted would wane the quickest that I’ve recently rekindled, if I can co-opt that usually romantic term. That, too, should possibly have been something I could have predicted, as we have more of a friendship based on similar senses of humor than on necessarily seeing each other every day. I have to same I’m really glad about this, because of the three friendships, this is now my least complicated. I appreciate low-maintenance, of course, though I think the rewards may match the investment sometimes. Still, this makes me happy.
Then there’s the continually “issufied” friendship. I wouldn’t say it’s fading so much as still in a place where it needs to be reexamined or regrown or something. Sometimes I have the feeling that the awkwardness is only on my side, which may very well be true. This is the relationship that I both know will not end over this distance and feel the least secure in the health of. My trust here is low, particularly as I’ve again learned that anything told to this friend is quickly spread to everyone else I know–and it’s not even worth taking up that issue with him again, as he probably has as many past transgressions to throw back at me. Part of the trouble, maybe, in living far away is that there’s no need to resolve issues like this.
I’m not planning any major actions on any of these things, I was just thinking about this today and thought I’d get it down. Now, I think I might try to make Pepper-Stuffed Pork Chops while watching “Sense and Sensibility.” Oh, and lovely news about the new free user pics for paid users. Woo-hoo! I’ll have to work on that tonight.