the logic v. the feeling

Logically, I accept the choice. Emotionally, I rebel. It’s been a disappointing and emotionally volatile day anyway, so I can really be expected to take the John Edwards addition stoically, can I? Later I’ll celebrate the wisdom and the necessity and the money; for now, I just want to wallow in the sadness that still sometimes attends big decisions made for political instead of ideological reasons (what? Is that a tiny hole in my cynical shield that you see? plug it! Someone patch that up quickly, before a few seeds of hate sneak in for a possibly slightly conservative Southern senator with decent hair and a winning smile and a serious bank account left over from the primaries).

Other than that, Florence is fine. Hot. I’m completely frustrated by my class this month, and it’s been spreading into a general dislike of the program that’s threatening to turn the remaining 17 days into a bit of a negative experience. Still, I’m conscious that this is happening, so I can fight against it. I think.

Friday night I walked through the streets of Florence with four people from school, drinking wine straight from the bottle, on the way to a Piazza to see Woody Allen play the clarinet. Woody never showed, but we found our way to bar shortly thereafter and had a pretty pleasant evening. Saturday I bummed around town and through a museum (the Palazzo Pitti’s Galleria (note that mix of Italian and English)) and a dried up garden (The Boboli Gardens, hard hit by last summer’s heat wave), then checked in on the computer and found my way home for a tasty chicken dinner. Sunday we went to the beach to “celebrate” fourth of July. Though I’ve been to the ocean before, this was the first time I’ve actually taken a swim in it. I also got a bit of a sunburn, having not adequately covered one shoulderblade. Other than that, a good time was had by all. We managed to snag beach chairs and an umbrella without paying (apparently the padrone della spiagga didn’t see us walk on — happy day for us), and ate a little picnic that our host mother packed for us, so I basically took a trip to the beach at the cost of $15 euro for train tickets. I started and plowed through half of Middlesex by Jeffrey Euginides (might be spelling that name wrong). It’s been good so far but hasn’t gripped me the way that The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay did.

I have made some little friends, in spite of my habitual anti-socialness… or perhaps because of it. The trick this time has been not so much acting like you don’t care what anyone else thinks but actually not caring. This has endeared me to the group of trendy younger girls, two of whom I live with, and by association the guys that follow them around. Also, I’ve made friends with all of my roommates now – the old two, who I hang out with most; the new one, who hangs out with the old two; and the other new one, who doesn’t like any of the others (and isn’t liked by them anway). I’m like All-Purpose Friend here.

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6 Responses to the logic v. the feeling

  1. therealjae says:

    Who would you have preferred on the VP pick, if I may ask?


  2. casapazzo says:

    Who did you want for VP? I have to say, both of them spoke here in the fall, before they’d declared their candidacy, and Edwards had far more substance in his policy speech than Kerry, so I’m kinda fond of him. Then again, I don’t really pay that much substantial attention AND I’m also the person who would vote for a half-trained chimp over the one we’ve got in office now… I’m probably not the best person to offer my opinion.

    Sorry to hear about your frustrations. Try to tune out the class woes and concentrate on the in-Italy goodness. *hugs you*
    And hurrah for anti-socialness paying off in the end.

  3. kepkanation says:

    The real problem with my lack of Edwards enthusiasm is that I can’t name anyone I would have wanted more — I just feel like he’s more conservative than he’s perceived to be, and I don’t like the idea of him being a close member of the cabinet for that reason. Then again, if being a VP candidate and eventually VP (I hope) makes him a strong enough candidate in his own right to give us a nice 12-16 years of Democratic control, well, rock on. I really need to see both him and Kerry on the campaign trail, I think — I hope they fit Missouri into their schedule(s) this fall.

    And thanks for the well-wishing about class!

  4. kepkanation says:

    I don’t have a favorite. Gephardt would have been cool only because I worked for him once upon a time, but I don’t think he’s as viable/helpful as Edwards and I’m not sure I “like” him more. That’s the problem with this for me — it’s not that I’m unhappy he picked Edwards *instead* of someone else, it’s just that I don’t like/trust Edwards. But I’m going to grow to love him, really. And I see the importance of Edwards as a political choice both immediately and probably in the long term. I think it’s also possible that I’m feeling a little disappointed by the lack of creativity in this choice. Not all of my feelings about this are at all rational, which is probably a good sign of the strength of my renewed interest in politics in general.

  5. therealjae says:

    Yeah, I don’t like Edwards, either. I console myself with the thought that there wasn’t really a better choice. I’m okay with it. It’s not as if the VP really does all that much …


  6. kepkanation says:

    It’s not as if the VP really does all that much …

    Unless the VP is Dick Cheney. *shudder* Or Al Gore, who apparently played a fairly large role in policy-making… Luckily, Kerry seems like someone who won’t lean on a VP for legislative knowledge. And Edwards seems like the guy who’s going to get sent out to opening shopping centers and play celebrity golf for four years if/when Kerry gets into office.

    The thing to worry about is whether this will give Edwards a springboard into the presidency…

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