Dear Wes Anderson,
I have been looking forward to your new film, The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou, for quite sometime — probably since this spring when I watched all three of your former movies with the kind of rapt attention I usually reserve for, well, reading. Anyway, I thought, “Oooh, Wes Anderson + Bill Murray (again) + Angelica Houston (again) + Owen Wilson – Owen Wilson not cowriting = probably a killer movie.” Yes, I think in math sometimes. Anyway. Apparently, my anticipation should have taken a hint from the fact that Bill Murray fired his agent over this movie and may even now be planning to bomb most of Italy, because the buzz for this movie suddenly SUCKS.
What I mean to say is, YOU’RE KILLING MY HSX PORTFOLIO. $70,000 lost? What is that? How is that repaying my loyalty? I leave you alone for a week and this is what I get? Dude! Time to make a better trailer!
Um, OK. Maybe talk to Owen about co-writing next time. Uh… keep up the good work?