OK, so, on the occasion of the Pope’s passing (had to go for the alliteration), I suggest one of my favorite little stories by Christopher Buckley. “We Have a Pope.” Unfortunately, I can’t find it anywhere online for free reading (though apparently it can be read if you have a membership to The Atlantic Monthly or through KeepMedia.com, which offers a 30-day free trial). I found it in The Best American Non-Required Reading 2004. It’s about a PR worker’s push to get an American Pope elected and is, as most Christopher Buckley stuff is, outrageous and funny.
Also, please keep your eyes out for the new pope. I have it on good authority that my efforts to get Doug elevated to the position, so that he may be Pope Pius Devil I, will pay off — provided he gets his miter back from the cleaners in time for the ceremony.
doug: “The prolonged interruption in her feeding … is shaping up as an unjust death sentence to an innocent, in one of the most inhumane and cruel forms — that of death from hunger and thirst,” Renato Martino, who heads the Vatican’s Pontifical Council for Justice and Peace, told Vatican Radio earlier in the day, before her death was announced.
doug: so had she been alive 100 years ago and just straight out died because of lack of medical technology then it would not have been a problem right?
me: or, let’s say, the thousands of people who die from hunger daily while the church spends money on things like the pope’s hat.
doug: or that
me: isn’t she going to hell anyway, since her state was basically self-inflicted?
doug: can we move to another fucking planet?
me: ooo, yes, let’s go
doug: oh we choose to forget that part
me: right, i forget the whole point of selective morality is the selective part.
doug: you got it
me: this is why i watch jeopardy instead of the news