I usually don’t watch “Oprah,” but it was that kind of day.

I have been a little lump of a person today. I woke up at like 1 p.m. and then watched the Tom Cruise “episode” of “Oprah” from last week — TiVo’d for my mother, but also out of morbid curiosity. Oh, man, he was weird. He’s a weird little guy. Watching him talk to Oprah was actually a bizarre and uncomfortable experience. Weird, weird, weird.

Anyway, then I went to Borders because I wanted to read the new issue of Harper’s. It has fiction in it by Rebecca Curtis, a professor from KU — a really good story called, man, now I can’t remember exactly the title. I think it’s “Summer, With Twins.” Anyway, Harper’s also had a cover story/essay by David Mamet (!!!) called “Bambi v. Godzilla: Why art always loses in Hollywood.” It was some of the most dense writing I’ve read in recent times — it includes a take-down of the nation-state — but it was, as is all Mamet-ness, fascinating.

Also fascinating: There was a woman asleep in the cafe for the whole time I was there. Not just “dozed off reading” asleep: she had brought a blanket and was stretched out on the couch, and there was snoring. The interesting thing in all of this is that no one in the cafe did anything about it. It was like we’d all decided, hey, maybe she just needs a place to rest, and so the conversations were softer than usual and no one complained or got up to tell the cafe worker or anything.

Then I came home and napped. Really. I had this headache all day that was like a balloon had been blown up behind my eyes and was providing this constant pressure against them. So, balloon headache and I went to sleep for another 3 hours, then got up, took allergy meds and Advil, and watched more “Oprah.”

And here’s something that’s made me giggle: “Fonda Wanted for Nine to Five Sequel.” Man, I hope that’s true. I loved that movie. I think I saw it 800 zillion times in the nineties. I think it used to play on cable almost as much as “Law & Order” does now.

One final thought: I did watch “Sunday Morning Shoot Out” from a week or so ago today, and I’m adding Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang (review) to my must-see list for 2005. It’s Val Kilmer! And Robert Downey, Jr.! Mocking and adoring Raymond Chandler! Written and directed by the man behind Lethal Weapon! So maybe the last one is only a selling point for me, but — woo-hoo!

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