I am so, so, so messy. Three people reading this right now have actually lived with me for an extended period of time, and a fourth basically lived around me during the days when I had an entire office to spread my mess around, so you guys know what I mean. I have no sense of organization. None. The only thing I keep remotely well organized in my whole entire life is my computer, and even that would look like a web of madness to the uninitiated.
So, I have a friend coming to stay this weekend, and I decided to try and clean up a bit. My kitchen has been remarkably clean for almost two weeks now, and I’m hoping to spread this cleanliness to the rest of the house. But, as it turns out, I have been living in the same space for almost 3 years now, and I just deposit stuff… everywhere. I have no storage closets or filing cabinets in which to put all of the papers that seem so critical and crucial to life going on, so they end up in little piles, and then in large avalanches, around my apartment, where they are often joined by gloves and bits of gum and Christmas cards. I swear, in every stack I’ve looked at, I’ve found at least one glove and one Christmas card amongst the wreckage.
So I cleaned for something like 4 hours straight on my living room, and it’s still in the “it gets worse before it gets better” stage. I will have at least two hours more to go on it just to get it to the point where there’s more than one seat cleared on the couch.
This is so discouraging.
I have always, always, always been like this. My mother swears that she would’ve turned me in for some kind of counseling over my messiness — because it’s like I forget that things need to be put away, as though I missed that day in pre-school or something — if she hadn’t read over and over again that “gifted” kids often settle at one extreme of organization or the other. The weirdest part of the messiness is that it makes sense to me, usually — I put a box of crackers down on a recliner and then cover them with old notebooks and then with a package of curtains and then with rental videos and finally with clothes, and two weeks later I’ll go, yes, rental video, on top of the crackers. But whoa, sometimes I walk in here and I go, Oh, no, I should just leave and start over. There’s too much stuff here. I can never organize it all.