To marijuana

Let’s step into a world of black and white. Here are the possibilities: 1). I have forgotten what pot smells like. 2). My neighbors have run out of firewood and are stuffing their fireplace, instead, with bushels of fresh-grown marijuana every night, then sneaking outside and spraying the area with something — and here I’m guessing it’s an Avon product, or maybe something from Bath & Body — that makes it smell like just firewood outside, while my apartment smells like the craft service table at a movie starring Snoop Dogg.

Other black-and-white possibilities I’m considering:
1). I am going crazy.
2). They have installed rumble strips on the road near my apartment, so that every 10-15 minutes, there’s a sound like a giant vacuum cleaner or a large chair being pulled back across the floor. Burrrrrrrrrr. Silencesilencesilence. Burrrrrrr.

If forced to consider other options:
3). My neighbors have bought some kind of vibrating chair and placed it against the wall.
4). My neighbors (the non-pot neighbors) are vacuuming their walls and ceiling.
5). The world’s largest cat is purring on top of my roof.

One final black-and-white situation:
1). There is no food in the world so good as popcorn.
2). … I can’t come up with another possibility.

At work I have a sign posted that reads: “I desire what is good, therefore all those who disagree with me are traitors.” It’s, I think it’s King George. That’s where I’m at. Either these things are true or I am crazy. No middle ground!

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5 Responses to To marijuana

  1. next_bold_move says:

    Nice reference in the title, but now I am singing the song.

    If you happen to see the world largest cat, would you snap a picture for me? I’d think, at least, such a feline would be great insulation if my smaller models are typical…

  2. kepkanation says:

    I’ve had the won’t you light my candle song stuck in my head all morning, and I only know about five lines of it. If I start singing aloud, it’s going to be a problem — “I didn’t recognize you without the handcuffs,” etc.

    I will try and document any and all of the above on camera, should the opportunity present itself.

  3. next_bold_move says:

    I have the Original Broadway recording of that, if you want to rip it.

  4. kepkanation says:

    Then it would be with me forever! But… maybe…

  5. next_bold_move says:

    It’s a standing offer. Just let me know. 🙂

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