The Awards season mania is upon us. Or at least it’s upon me, I don’t know how your Overzealous Awards Forcefields are working out. Usually I keep scrupulous track of what I’ve seen and not seen and who I think will and should win. I’m going to do that this year, too, but having seen a number of films this year, I’m feeling qualified to give out my own awards. So, by the powers vested in me by… well, by me, I pronounce the nominating process for the Kepkanation Pictures Arts and Sciences Academy (K-Pasa) awards OPEN.
Me first, then you. Award #1 Inspired By Comments from .
Best Performance, Five Minutes or Under, in a Motion Picture
- Ralph Fiennes – Voldemort, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
- Roberta Maxwell – Jack’s Mother, Brokeback Mountain
- Alec Baldwin – Phil DeVoss, Elizabethtown
- David Krumholtz – Mr. Universe, Serenity
- Tilda Swinton – Penny, Broken Flowers*
*my memory of her scenes is shaky – I don’t think she had very much screen time, but I definitely got a solid impression of her character.
Most Egregious Under-use of Talent:
- Mike Newell (Talent: Alan Rickman, Maggie Smith, J.K. Rowling), Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
- Ridley Scott (Talent: Liam Neeson, Jeremy Irons, Orlando Bloom), Kingdom of Heaven
- Cameron Crowe (Talent: Cameron Crowe), Elizabethtown
- The Farrelly Brothers (Talent: Nick Hornby), Fever Pitch
- Rob Reiner (Talent: Rob Reiner, Ted Griffin, the people at Netflix who would’ve sent him a copy of The Graduate upon request), Rumor Has It…
Trailer that was Better than the Picture:
- Kingdom of Heaven
- The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe*
- Rumor Has It…
- Cinderella Man
*I realize that’s personal taste, but they are the KEPKAnatas for a reason.
Trailer that Nearly Made Me Not Want to See a Film I Otherwise Enjoyed:
- A History of Violence
- Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
- The Constant Gardener
Tomorrow, there may be further categories and nominations. Perhaps more performance-based awards. I promise to open voting to the Academy as soon as possible.