Though not more than my new sheets, I do adore the Onion A.V. Club. I get that it’s now on the other side of cool to like the A.V. Club, because blah blah you were cool before cool was cool and you liked the A.V. Club before it was even worth liking blah blah. Let me never again have that conversation with anyone about anything (up to and including the following: pomegranates, hybrid cars, Ann E. Proulx, appletinis, recycling, and Dave Matthews, who really IS on the other side of cool) and I will die happy.
Anyway, Teri Garr is interviewed by the A.V. Club as part of their “Random Roles” feature, where they ask actors about random roles. I know, creative title and concept. (Half the coolness of The AV Club, I think, is that every time they put something up I go, Oh man, that’s totally an idea I’ve had/ should have had/ was going to have/ think sounds like something I’d have if I weren’t so GOSH DARNED LAZY). If you’re wondering where Teri Garr has gone, apparently she’s had some health troubles — an aneurysm in 2005 and continuing complications from her Multiple Sclerosis. If you, like me, weren’t particularly wondering, there’s still some interesting stuff in here, and reminders of Good Movies Past — Tootsie and Mr. Mom both get mentioned, as does Francis Ford Coppola.
There are some great quotes in this interview, most of them followed by, “Don’t quote me. Wait, do.” Here is my favorite, which clears up a lot about God, George Burns, and Steven Spielberg
Garr: I used to say that in Close Encounters, God was revealed to be a chandelier. And then that same year, I was in a movie where God was revealed to be George Burns.
AVC: Which do you believe? Is God a chandelier or George Burns?
TG: I think George Burns. I hope George Burns. We’ll have to ask Steven. He’s kind of stuck on those guys. I just watched the new Indiana Jones movie, and he’s got those damn creatures again with the heads. He loves those aliens.
AVC: In your autobiography—
TG: So you did read it.
AVC: I read all the excerpts I could get my hands on without paying for it.
TG: God bless you.
AVC: I’ll send you a pro-rated amount for that, if you like.
TG: [Laughs.] Don’t worry about it, baby. You know I was originally going to call that book, Does This Wheelchair Make Me Look Fat? And they wouldn’t let me, because it might offend someone. And now I know—live and learn—that I don’t care. I should have done it.