Al Gore Places Infant Son In Rocket To Escape Dying Planet

EARTH—Gore’s son Kal-Al is faster than a speeding Prius, stronger than the EPA’s Superfund program, and able to leap mountains of red tape in a single bound.

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Huzzah.  Weekend.  I will spend it writing, cleaning, grilling, writing, sleeping, driving, and thinking that Kal-Al is the best tribute name ever, and wishing that Nicolas Cage would’ve thought of it.  Wait, I’m hearing…

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