I said I’d talk movies

A hundred years ago (it’s a night for exaggeration), I said I’d talk movies seen and wanting to be seen.  So let’s get on with that.

In the past two months, I’ve seen the following films for the first time:

  • Tropic Thunder, which made me laugh until I cried at least three times.
  • Hamlet 2, which… I just can’t… I don’t… hey, the music number “Rock Me Sexy Jesus” was funny.
  • Vicky Cristina Barcelona, which was more than the average Scarlett/Woody affair and oddly charming.
  • Friends With Money, which I don’t have and, if they’re like this, I don’t want.
  • Burn After Reading, which wasn’t quite as good as my admittedly high expectations but still quirky enough to be worth the price.
  • Eagle Eye, which was highly improbable but has convinced me to wear more hats.
  • Raising Helen, which I can neither explain nor defend.
  • Saved!, which I should have seen a million years ago and, you betcha, loved.
  • Body of Lies, which almost convinced me that Leonardo DiCaprio is old enough to play an adult.

I want to see:

I could be convinced to see:

  • The Duchess, but only by one person and you know who you are.  It’s here.
  • Appaloosa, but only in Kansas.
  • Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist, because of George Michael Bluth.
  • W., but please see conditions set for Rachel Getting Married.
  • Changeling, which I so far can’t get excited about but realize will be All The Rage At The Oscars.
  • The Road, see above, and remember I didn’t see No Country until August of this year.
  • Madagascar 2, because the penguins want to take over the world!!!!!
  • Crossing Over, which I just heard of for the first time though it’s “been buzzing since 2007.”  Which was like yesterday.  I live on the international date line now, didn’t you know?
  • Doubt, which has a great cast but somehow gives me this feeling like I’ll need a spotter to keep me awake.
  • The Tale of Despereaux.  C’mon, animated Dustin Hoffman.
  • The Spirit, because everyone I know will be there?
  • Shaghai, huh, John Cusack period China piece shot in Thailand?  Huh.
  • Valkyrie, for which the trailer looks kind of horrible, but… I dunno.

I would rather eat my cell phone wrapped in bacon than see:

So, there it is.  I skipped some that I know nothing about, and others that I’ve merely forgotten.  I won’t see everything I want and I’ll doubtlessly see some I don’t want to see at all, but at least I have goals.  Yes?

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2 Responses to I said I’d talk movies

  1. Pasquino says:

    Hrm. That’s quite a list. You’re obviously more diverse in your movie-going than I. I can see that. Most folks are. It’s probably a good thing. I simply don’t have the patience, attention span, or emotional bandwidth to spend two hours wallowing in made-up pain (that’s not caused by guns, knives, kung-fu, explosions, car chases, garottes, lasers, blasters, mind powers, or heroin; preferably by skin-tight leather clad heroines with a penchant for acrobatics and capable of wielding swords AND guns. At the same time. Hurt me.).

    That said…well, nothing really. I have no point. Of the movies you’ve seen, I’ve seen two of them, and both of them with you. Tropic Thunder — yeah. Jesus. I still wake up crying sometimes, visions of a hirsute yet bald Tom Cruises dancing in the my half-dreams. And Simple Jack, of course. omg. It’s starting again.

    Eagle Eye. I *really* wanted to like it. I like Shia. I do. He’s just awkward enough to make his characters seem real without being embarrassing. And Billy Bob almost (almost!) single-handedly saved the movie for me. Alas, it went beyond even my admittedly generous, un-scintillating, suspension of disbelief abilities. But Billy Bob rocked.

    I don’t see “Mamma Mia” on your list. Is that because you saw it more than two months ago? Or because of your shame?

    I’ve now watched Death Race three times. I will watch again for you. You cannot stop me from watching it for you. You will enjoy it. Because Jason Statham is shirtless for a decent amount of time and he has nice nipples. And Joan Allen is a cold-blooded, scary, lizardy villain who doesn’t suffer quite enough in her obligatory villain-death scene.

    Of the movies you want to see or could be convinced to see, Quantum of Solace is at the top of the list. Mmmmm. Danial Craig. Tasty. I’d like two, please, with chocolate sauce and a cigarette. The only thing that will make our movie-going experience at the Luxury Movie Theatre of Extravagance and Opulence will be if there’s a smoking section I can sneak off to and be both pampered and nicotined while watching Daniel Craig squint.

    Madagascar 2 – meh. Sure. Why not. Kinda wish I still smoked dope, though. Would make it entertaining. It did wonders for the first one. I will make an exception to my general rule of “no thought-provoking, emotionally fraught movies fore me, thanks” rule to see The Soloist. Because Famie Fox(x?) and RDJr, together, is not to be missed.

    The Spirit. Yes. You will see the Spirit. Because, apparently, it’s a comedy. Who knew? You did forget Max Payne. Please don’t tell me I’m going to have to convince you to see Max Payne. It’s Marky Mark! With Valkyries! And bullet-time and guns and explosions and scary, smoky skylines lit by the embers of the tortured damned!

    Right. I’ll stop now.

  2. Pasquino says:

    err…that should be Daniel Craig, not “Danial”. As far as I know, he’s not the son of a hipster, upper-middle class foodie couple not content to give their offspring an honorable name and must saddle him with some twisted version of a familiar name that is somehow supposed to represent his utter uniqueness. Ugh.

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